Away We Go: I Moved to Nashville!

Well... We did it!

Hello newsletter friends!

I am writing to you from my new office in front of a large window. Outside the window, I can see two trees— an oak tree and a Bradford pear tree, as well as some of the neighbor’s trees of unknown origin. I also have the most impeccable view of the sky. On clear days it’s big, blue, and covered in fluffy clouds that look like cotton candy. Today it is gray and angry, it looks as emotional as I feel.

I don’t know how I made it through, but I did.

I uprooted my entire life and moved to Nashville, TN.

It’s unbelievable. I told Tucker this morning that it feels like I’m on a weird, vacation that feels like a rollercoaster through the exciting, the emotional and the banal.

It’s been almost two weeks since we drove away from Austin, TX and I’d be lying if I didn’t tell you how hard that was. I have never experienced grief like I did in the last few weeks during the process of leaving. It was so beautiful, seeing so many people I love in a concentrated amount of time and telling them how much they mean to me. But it was heartbreaking. The years I spent in Austin were some of the best of my life. I grew up, I grew into myself, and I learned so much there. It felt profound and heartbreaking, and above all else necessary. It was the right time, but it didn’t making it easier. Naively I had hoped it would.

And now I am here.

I haven’t had the words to say how I’m feeling because to be brutally honest I don’t know. I spent two and a half weeks crying everyday and then got dropped into the biggest project of my life thus far: renovating a house into a home.

I feel so glad that we did this. We’ve been loved on so well since we moved, and the reality of being closer to family, and closer to this set of friends is such a gift.

But the everything of it all has me feeling very tired, and very disconnected from myself.

Yesterday, I had a call with a friend who is a therapist and we talked about the fact that no matter what you do, nothing could possibly prepare you to do what I just did. Nothing prepares you to uproot your life from a place that you love, and move it somewhere new. I couldn’t have done anything differently than I have.

So for now I will sip coffee and and watch the birds search for seeds near my windows. I will show up to drinks with old friends and just repeat over and over how unbelievable it is that I get to be greedy with my time with them now. I will drink margaritas and get misty eyed over how I might be permanently homesick for another place for the rest of my life. And I will continue to pour myself into this house when I can, painting wall after wall until it’s ready for visitors to come spend time with us from all over — fulfilling a dream I have always had.

Here are some photos from the first week in the house:

P.S. Today is Tucker & I’s anniversary :)

9 years of wedded bliss, and 14 years of being together.

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